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| Image | David Wygant |
I had a problem when I was single. I didn't know how to talk to guys.
I know what you are thinking. "Simone, you are the farthest thing from shy?! What was your problem?"
When it came to guys that I thought I might like...I had a bad habit of ignoring them. I got all nervous, and couldn't think straight, and couldn't make coherent sentences.
In other words, I lost all sense of normalcy. So, I resorted to ignoring them in an effort to keep from saying something completely stupid.
Here is a typical conversation that I might have had with a guy that I have no interest in what so ever.
Conversation A
Simone: Good Morning, Titus! How are you?
Guy A: Good, Simone, how are you?
Simone: Well, thank you. Did you have a good weekend?
Guy A: I did, but I didn't do much watched the game, hung out with some friends, and went running. That's about it.
Simone: Sounds like you had a good weekend! I went running too, but the heat made it pretty tough. I'm going to try and run earlier next weekend. Are you training for anything?
Guy A: Yes, the Marine Corp Marathon. I've run it a couple of years in a row.
Simone: Whoa! That's awesome. I dream about doing a marathon one day, but I'm not there yet. Congratulations on setting that tremendous physical goal, Titus. It was good to talk to you. Have a good day!
Guy A: You too, Simone. See you later.
Now, for the conversation with the guy that I thought I might like...but I had no idea because I've never had a decent conversation with him.
Conversation B
Guy B: Hi Simone! How are you?
Simone: Well, thank you.
Guy B: Did you have a good weekend?
Simone: Yes, thank you.
Guy B: Oh, what did you do?
Simone: Nothing much, just hung around.
Guy B: Well, that sounds nice. Have a good day, Simone
Simone: Thanks.
Why on Earth did I do this?
Here is a typical conversation that I might have had with a guy that I have no interest in what so ever.
Conversation A
Simone: Good Morning, Titus! How are you?
Guy A: Good, Simone, how are you?
Simone: Well, thank you. Did you have a good weekend?
Guy A: I did, but I didn't do much watched the game, hung out with some friends, and went running. That's about it.
Simone: Sounds like you had a good weekend! I went running too, but the heat made it pretty tough. I'm going to try and run earlier next weekend. Are you training for anything?
Guy A: Yes, the Marine Corp Marathon. I've run it a couple of years in a row.
Simone: Whoa! That's awesome. I dream about doing a marathon one day, but I'm not there yet. Congratulations on setting that tremendous physical goal, Titus. It was good to talk to you. Have a good day!
Guy A: You too, Simone. See you later.
Now, for the conversation with the guy that I thought I might like...but I had no idea because I've never had a decent conversation with him.
Conversation B
Guy B: Hi Simone! How are you?
Simone: Well, thank you.
Guy B: Did you have a good weekend?
Simone: Yes, thank you.
Guy B: Oh, what did you do?
Simone: Nothing much, just hung around.
Guy B: Well, that sounds nice. Have a good day, Simone
Simone: Thanks.
Why on Earth did I do this?
Things worked out in the end, and I wound up with my dream man. But, it turns out I'm not the only one with this problem.
If you too get a case of the heebie jeebies when it comes to talking to guys... try these 3 tips:
- Smile: It turns out that guys almost never approach girls that look mean or unapproachable.
- Don't Jump the Gun: Aim for having a short friendly conversation, and avoid the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out what your future children will look like. It's simply too much pressure.
- Compliment Him: All God's children like compliments. No matter how confident a man looks on the outside, he still needs to know he's enough. And, compliments are a great way to kick off a conversation.
It might seem a little scary at first, but you got this! Question: What other ways can single women let guys know they are interested?
Game. Most women lack Game. When a man starts being interested in talking to woman he is told to learn how to "be funny", "act confident", "be attentive", "don't seem clingy", "show that you have things you are passionate about", "go out and do interesting things". Aside from "make sure your clothes fit" and "be well groomed" looks don't even really enter the equation unless all else fails.
ReplyDeleteI feel like too many women don't have Game. They are either in the "show more skin" arms race or they passively sit there and hope for the best. I like your list of three. Its a nice, simple and covers most of the bases. If I could add anything it would be practice. Find a guy you are interested in, one who actually make you feel nervous, and force yourself to talk to them. Feel awkward, get tongue tied, open yourself up to embarrassment. Repeat until that nervousness is replaced with swagger!
That is soooo GOOOOD! I was talking to a group for friends the other nights and we discussed the very same thing. Men simply do not like being improved upon and the best thing we can do as women is celebrate them for who they are and NOT try and change them.
DeleteI was in the "hope for the best crowd" until a dear friend staged an intervention. I like what you said about forcing yourself to do something even when you are afraid. It's SUPER scary, but so is everything in life that's worth fighting for.
Thank you for commenting!
This list is very simple, but I can see it's effectiveness. Good pointers!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kim! Yes, it is a simple list but these are things that I and other women often overlook.
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