How to Ask Your Hubby for Help

I’ve hit the jackpot twice. First, when I was born into my family. And second, when Morris, my husband, asked me to marry him. Being raised in a loving, family of eight children has taught me about people, how families operate, and how to overcome the challenges that life brings every day. I’ve also learned from being married for 15 months.  

And, my friends often ask me, “What should I look for in a husband?” “How is married life?” and “What advice do you have?” 

And, I said to myself “Self, what if you could help your friends and others avoid your mistakes?” I did not answer myself, because that would just be crazy. But I hope you, as the reader, will learn from my mistakes and not repeat them.  

Photo from Hello Beautiful

I recently learned how to ask my husband for help. 

I found that it is different from asking my brothers for assistance. Asking my brothers for help was more like telling them to do something. And, Morris was having none of that.

A few months ago, I mentioned to Morris that we had a friend’s barbecue to attend. Admittedly, I did not give him much advance notice, the affair was an hour and ten minutes away, and he had never met these friends.  But, he was getting barbecue out of the deal! And, I could not figure out why I was getting the “almost silent treatment.”  The “almost silent treatment” consists of one-word responses, shrugs, and grunts.

Finally, I figured it out. I had taken away his time, and Morris was grumpy.We talked about it, and I learned from that experience. 

And, this spring…I got the asking right.

While sitting at our monthly budget meeting, I broached the subject of spring cleaning. I was a bit timid at first. “Hey, honey, you know there is a lot of work to be done around here…have you seen how dirty those base boards are? We are going to have to do some serious spring cleaning.”

After a bit of back and forth, Morris agreed to block off a Saturday for the benefit of cleanliness and order in our home. Success!

Because I’m Baptist, I’ll give you three tips on how to ask your hubby for help:

1.      CONSIDER HIS PLANS

Show him that you are not selfish. Ask if he has plans.

2.      ASK EARLY, AND REMIND HIM

The bigger the task, the more time he needs to mentally prepare. I asked three married/engaged guys about this subject, and all of them said the same thing. “Ask early, and remind me.”

3.      DO NOT CONVEY A SENSE OF URGENCY IF IT IS NOT URGENT      

As women, we often like to do things now, simply because we’re thinking about it. But, things don’t always have to be done right now. Let’s not confuse the important with the urgent. So, when there is an urgent need…our men will run to the rescue.