In his book, The
Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman says that love is the
primary human emotional need. He explains that problems arise in relationships
and families when people have an empty love tank.
An empty love tank is
the result of not feeling loved.
Dr. Chapman says
that learning to speak the primary love language of your spouse and loved ones
can radically change his or her behavior.
The Five Love Languages
- Words of Affirmation: use words that build up and
encourage. "Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are
powerful communicators of love." They are best expressed simply such
as, "I love your hair." "You look great in that
color."
- Quality Time: giving your husband your undivided
attention. Dr. Champan cautions not to confuse togetherness with
proximity. Togetherness means focused attention i.e. turning the TV
off.
- Gifts: a gift is a symbol of thoughts and love."It
doesn't matter whether it costs money, what is important is that you
thought of them."
- Acts of Service: doing things your husband or loved one
would like you to do. This is my love language and I am over the moon when
Morris cleans the bathroom.
- Physical Touch: is pretty straightforward. This is
Morris' love language.
Two weeks into our
dating, Morris put his hands on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eyes and
said “Simone, we are dating now. You have to kiss me as a greeting. Quit it
with the waving.” It was super awkward at first. Public displays of affection
aren't really my thing, but I learned. And, our relationship is better for
it.
A Full Love Tank
Make sure that when you
express love to your husband, family, and friends that you use the right love
language. An indicator of their love language may be things they do for
you.
Does your friend gives great gifts? Gifts may be her love language.
Does your sister
love to hang out? Her love language may be quality time.
Speaking
the right love language will keep their love tank full and lead you both to a rich
relationship.
Question: What is your love language? And, how do you feel loved?
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