Last Week We Moved to Nashville

Last week Morris and I moved to Nashville, TN. Morris' job relocated him to the Nashville office, and I got to come back to my hometown.

This was the smoothest move I've ever had. Because all of our worldly possessions were packed, labeled, loaded, driven to Nashville, and stored by a moving company. It was a weird, but beautiful thing to see all of our dishes, pictures, and valuables (read: one 20" inch TV) wrapped lovingly in bubble paper while we sat on the couch and watched.

Cleaning Couture

We did have to clean up, though.

Leaving D.C. was Tough
It was tough to leave my friends and colleagues that I've grown to love over the past 6 1/2 years.  It was tough to leave our church family where Morris and I have grown in our marriage and faith. And, it was heartbreaking to leave all my friends.

I cried so much one day, I gave myself a headache. I think it was all the farewell parties, cards, well wishes, and (even) a poem.

Reality hit me: I won't see these folks on a regular basis. And, I'm going to miss them.

The Good, The Scary, and an Identity Crisis

Me & My Nephew

The move is good, because we're in the same city as my family, and we're now driving distance from Morris' family.

But the move is scary, because I left my respectable job as an energy analyst to be a writer.

You profession is indicative of your status in D.C. And, you can't go anywhere without someone asking you (within 2 minutes of meeting you) "what do you do?"

Translation:  Are you important enough for me to bother with? 

I've almost bought into that mindset.

Morris and I are going to a BBQ this weekend, and I'm already rehearsing how to answer that question.

Am I having an identity crisis?

Maybe.

But, I think it's a good thing.

Maybe I was too wrapped up in trying to impress people. Maybe this phase will lead to some much-needed self reflection. And, maybe this phase will lead to something awesome! Either way, I'm thrilled about the possibilities and the free time to focus on my dream.

Forgive me for Silence
As you might have noticed, I've been away from this blog for two months. Please forgive me. I thought that I could balance it all i.e. :

• work full-time
• write in the early mornings
• participate in the Count Me In/Capital One Business Accelerator Program
• launch a website
• write an ebook
• conduct relationship research
• keep up with my goal-setting group
• take a blogging class
•  work out 3-4 times a week, cook dinner for my husband, travel, do informational interviews, be a career coach for college students, be active at church, spend time with friends and volunteer for the charities that I love. 
• AND move half-way across the country

But, it turns out. I could not.

And, when I found out about our move...I decided that I just wanted to soak up every last moment with my friends. 

Thank you for coming back and visiting this blog! And thank you to Allison and Jessica C. for checking back and noting my absence. That means the world to me, because I wasn't quite sure if anyone cared:-). I promise to be more consistent!

Up Next Week
Next week, we'll be discussing chemistry and the problem with falling in love. I've received a couple of questions about this. So, I want to talk about it with you and share my thoughts.

Please stay tuned...better yet subscribe via email!

It's good to be back. Love, Simone

(Video) Howdy from Simone!

Update on the blog, the pitch competition, and thank you to a whole bunch of awesome folks. Love, Simone

Are you tired of waiting?

Me too.

A few weeks ago, Morris and I were waiting in line to buy movie tickets and there were 4 people ahead of us. Initially, this was not a problem. But, ten minutes later the line had not moved at all. It was a perfect storm: one cashier, a group of six, seeing several movies, and they had credit card trouble. So, I panicked and began giving the cashier dirty looks that screamed "Seriously?"

 After another few minutes, I tried to remedy the situation and stormed over to the concession stand to ask that someone be re-assigned to help with ticket sales. Someone was re-assigned. We purchased our tickets, and hurriedly headed to our movie. We enjoyed the movie, until it ended 45 minutes after we sat down. We were in the wrong theater.  Right movie. Wrong start time.

How many times does this happen in life? We get impatient and tired of waiting and we rush into something that looks right, but it is wrong. Thankfully, this was only a movie. But, it showed me that I still have a lot to learn about waiting.

The problem with waiting is that it feels like your time is being wasted.

Our Time is Not Being Wasted, We Are Being Prepared. 

T.D. Jakes says that nothing we go through will be wasted. He gives the example of Moses. Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness after leaving Egypt as a murderer. 40 Years! During that 40 years, God humbled and prepared Moses. Prior to the 40 Years in the wilderness, he was a prince in Egypt. And, he could not relate to slave life. But, in the wilderness he had to work and he learned the layout of the land. When the Israelites needed to be freed. Moses was ready. 

He knew the process and protocols of the palace, he had once been a prince. He understood the plight of the Israelites, because he had worked hard for 40 years. And, he knew how to lead the Israelites to the Promised land, because he had been knocking-about in the same wilderness for forty years leading sheep. 

What To Do When We Are Waiting:

Don't Panic. Or you'll end up in the wrong place, like I did at the movies. God is working on us during the waiting...just like he worked on Moses.

Listen to Your Coach. Dr. Judy Fentress-Williams says that waiting for something to change is like child birth. It is painful. But, pain makes us let go of control and receptive to coaching. Women rely on nurses to coach them through the pain of bringing new life into the world. We should rely on God and listen to Him. So, he can bring us through the struggle. 

How Can You Save the World?

Pursue your dreams.

In Britain, last year, a shortage of interpreters led to a small number of foreign suspects being released.
Now, there were some budget constraints that led to this situation. But, it got me to thinking. Perhaps someone out there hasn't gotten around to following their dream and learning a language. If they had, would there have been fewer crimes on the streets of Britain?

And, that led to another line of thinking.

What other problems does the world have that you and I can solve if we pursue our dreams?

Are you a talented comedian? Good, because there is a lot of hurt and sadness in the world. And, there are people out here dying to laugh. Seriously, I see them everyday at work and on the bus here in D.C.

Are you a gifted filmmaker? Good, because there are millions of stories out there that need to be told. Take Charity:Water, for instance, it provides live-giving clean water to thousands of people in developing countries. You could make a film that tells the story of one person and how clean water changed the life of their village...more people would hear about this person, their village, the clean water project, and give money. As a result of your film, more people on our plant would have clean water!

Okay. Okay. I'm getting off my soap box now.

All of this is to say. We have to pursue our dreams y'all. The world needs us.

My Fantastic Family

My dream is to help make your family fantastic by strengthening bonds, eliminating squabbles, and helping you pursue your dreams. I have more than 30 years of experience living in a fantastic family. We are not perfect, but we are loving. And, I can help you and your family too.

A Kind Rejection

Last week, I received a kind rejection note from one of the magazines that I submitted an article to. Although, I was a wee bit disappointed that I was rejected...the editor was gracious enough to respond in three days and give me constructive criticism.(Typically, editors respond in three months...if they choose to respond.)

My previous two submissions were met with complete silence, and I am thrilled to hear back from someone. So, for me, getting a response is 1) progress and 2) encouraging.

I've been on a quest to escape my boring job for 18 months. And after repeating the grueling process of informational interviews, submitting applications, following up, and interviewing for umpteen times. I've decided to give up the non-profit job search and refocus my efforts on writing. You know that question that interviewers ask you "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

I would always think "Honey, I plan to be on a book tour for my first novel by then."

But, I would always say "I would like to stay with the organization as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial." Because you can't tell an organization that counsels people or educates children that you want to write a novel that tells stories of families conquering life together. Typically, writing novels does not fit into their respective strategic plans.

So, I've decided to write with the same fervor that I gave the job search and we'll see what happens. I don't know where this writing journey will take me, but I do know one thing- persistence is the key to being successful.
Morris and I studied persistence last week in 12 Traits of the Greats, and it says that "great achievers often achieve great things simply because they refuse to give up. They don't retreat in the face of setbacks. They don't shirk in the face of disappointment, and they don't quiver in the face of delay."

In my own family, my brother, Isaac, is the model of persistence. He has been relentless in his pursuit of a degree in sociology. Despite setbacks, discouragements, and having to balance being a husband, father, and having a full-time job...he graduated this year. And now, he has been asked to present his Senior Thesis at a sociology conference. I'll be leaning on Isaac for advice heavily as I pursue this book tour dream, and reminding myself of Winston Churchill's speech "Never Give In".

Photo from My Black Piano

I know that you too are pursuing goals and dreams. So, let's stick with it and keep me updated on your progress...and I'll write about your journey and we'll get to the finish line together. Lauzi, a Chinese philosopher, said that "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." So, we might as well get to steppin'.

Guest Post: On the Road to Nineveh and Getting to Destiny

Obie, My Nephew Cinco, and Me

My life has been interesting from the start. I was born at home and delivered by my father.  I weighed 11 lbs and 12 ounces. Needless to say, I was a huge baby. While growing up, I always seemed like the "special one" out of the rest of my siblings. And when I say "special" I mean; they thought I was mentally challenged! 

I didn’t talk until I was age five. And, I was confused about my race. I know, special right? 

But, going into my highschool days there started to be a sense of normality, or so I thought. I was a typical teenager whose mind was not focused on school but rather on hanging with girls and playing Nintendo games. This was the “I can't” era of my life.

 If there was something that was challenging, I always went to the mindset “I can’t”. It started with school, but overflowed into my everyday life. I started to see that I couldn’t complete simple tasks. It was to the point where my mom and older sister, S.B., were ready to whisk me off to military school.

 My junior year, my father gave me an ultimatum.  Either I could quit soccer which I loved and play basketball which I despised or I could not play sports at all. I had played soccer since I was four. Soccer was a love and a passion. If I had continued playing soccer and my father had not heard the Lord, and more importantly acted on it- there is no telling where my life would have gone. In high school, I was standing at a stout 5’7, and I am currently standing a lean 6’9.  Needless, to say my dreams to play professional soccer would have been short lived. This is why God established families, and designed them to have a father.

Fast forward, I started off at a community college with my older brother, Izo. He helped guide me through the process of how to survive college life and how to get things accomplished.  Not only did that set a precedent on how to handle situations, but it also taught me to work hard and keep a cool head through adversity. Which are some of the key reasons why I have succeeded. When my brother left, graduated and moved on to the next step the Lord had for him...I lost my strength. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it says two are better than one. And without strength, I fell into despair. I was on an island surrounded by a sea of adversities. And many I swam through, but you only can stay afloat so long by yourself. 

To give you a visual on how the direction of my life was going I compare it with the story of Jonah and the whale. My father, while I was young, heard the Lord and spoke my life into a purposed destiny, but like Jonah I strayed away from what I know I was suppose to be doing. I decided to go my own way, and just like the story of Jonah I spent a good a bit of time in the belly of the whale. For me it wasn’t a whale, but I was alone surrounded in a sea of uncertainty.

I still had family, but instead of reaching out I tried to do everything on my own. And, I relied on my own resources. In the end, I quickly sank to the ocean floor weighed down by struggles and I had no idea of where to go. During my sea of uncertainty God took my broken life, fixed it, and he blessed me with a beautiful baby boy.

My Beautiful Boy

This baby boy, honestly, brought me back to the light. I knew the road I was going down was that of destruction. But to see my son be born, and  with his eyes open and hands in the praying position... my heart melted. And on March 23, 2013, I knew I had to get back on track. So, the Lord allowed me a second chance to fulfill my destiny. I’m not quite to Nineveh yet,  but I’m on the road.... and I know it will be a beautiful journey.

Getting to Destiny-
Zaiah

The Know It All

I became one them y'all. Yes, the dreaded know it all. I was sitting at my desk last week, and decided to review my first blog, Countdown 2 My Brother's Wedding. It was fun to go back and read what my single self thought about being single. And, then I noticed that I was content being single, and most of the commentators were content being single.

The problem was the know it alls that inserted themselves in my life and were always pushing me to get married, start a family, find somebody, etc. etc.

Well, I became that Know It All.

I was having dinner with a lovely friend, and I casually mentioned "So, are you dating anyone?"
"No," she said.
"Well, don't you worry. God, has someone really awesome for you! I just know it," I said.
"Perhaps, God doesn't. Some people are called to singleness, like the apostle Paul," She said.

And, I thought hmmmm... maybe.  But you, you are pretty and smart, and kind...surely there is someone out there for you. And, then I began to run down the list of all the eligible bachelors that we know and ask whether or not each and everyone was a suitable match.

How dreadful of me?!?! I had done exactly what I previously complained about, and inserted myself into her life.

Sadly, my lovely friend is not alone. My long-suffering siblings have to put up with my know-it-all self sometimes too. I shared a couple of months ago about my younger brother that failed to follow the plans I had for his life. He is doing amazingly well, and has written a guest post for next week.

It just goes to show you, I do not Know It All.

The Battle of the Bulge

It was a cold, misty day in December of 1944. One thousand tanks and 200,000 German troops launched Hitler's final attempt to beat back the Allied Troops in France. The Germans began their assault in the Ardennes Forest. The line of defense stretched for 75 miles (pictured above), and a rag-tag bunch of inexperienced and war-torn American soldiers were stationed there for rest.  The Germans broke through the line (depicted in yellow) after a day of fighting and surrounded most of an infantry division.

Stories of horror began to spread. And, the Belgians began to hide their Allied flags and bring out the swastikas. The British waited to see how the Americans would respond to such a terrifying German offense.

General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Allied Commander, rushed in reinforcements to help beat back the Germans. And, within days American soldiers were launching counterattacks. The story of this battle is one of American courage. American soldiers, often isolated, were relentless in slowing down and fighting the Nazi advance. They blocked roads. They burned stored gasoline to keep it from enemy tanks. And, marched in deep snow drifts to restore the line of defense that set the stage for victory.*

Sir Winston Churchill described the battle as "...the greatest American battle of war and will."

I heard the story of this Battle a few months ago on NPR. And, I thought it was appropriate to share because 1) it is Independence week and 2)  it made me think about my own personal battles**.

The Battle of the Bulge was a huge setback for the Allied Forces. The war had appeared to be almost over. And, then the dang Nazis came charging in. But, the American soldiers didn't give up. They kept fighting.

April and May were good months for me. Our small group Bible study ended well. We had an awesome Cub Scout end of the year picnic. I began running again. I lost five pounds. I was writing consistently. Our family reunion was a success. I was blogging regularly, and getting good traffic.

Then June came.

And, I found those five pounds. And, I didn't write or blog. And, I felt guilty. Because I planned to report on my goal progress in June, but my progress has been dismal. So, I revisited the Battle of the Bulge.

The Battle was a turning point in War World II, and the Allied Forces went on to win. I find it super encouraging to know that a setback was not the end of the story, and it  makes me want to fight even more for my goals. I did lose some ground, but the end of this year is going to be awesome.

If you have lost any ground on your goals this year...don't lose heart. We have six months ahead of us.
So, let's get to work.

*Source: Army Features- http://www.army.mil/botb/overview.html

**In NO way am I trying to equate my personal struggles to those of the aforementioned American heroes.

Being Fit

Being fit is easiest when you have a partner. Someone that pushes you, keeps you accountable, and makes you go the extra mile.

A few years ago, I made a friend at a pilates class in my neighborhood. We started training for the Army 10-Miler together, and I was in the best shape of my life. My friend, R, ran cross country in college. So, I was a bit scared to run with her. But, R was patient and my mile time went from 12 minutes and 30 seconds to 9 minutes and 25 seconds for a mid-distance run. That's what a good partner will do...make you better.

Michaela, R, and Me at the Army 10-Miler

But, being fit is not limited to physical fitness. Being fit, includes all aspects of our lives: spiritual, mental, financial, and the list continues.

A few days ago, my blog buddy called me to break some bad news. "Your blog is getting sorry," he said.  Those were not his exact words, but that was the message that was communicated. "I know, I know," I mumbled as I began to sink in my chair.

 I knew my content had not been strong lately, but I didn't think anyone had noticed. So, I rested my forehead on my desk and settled in for my verbal flogging. My blog buddy explained that the content had been a bit random lately and that I needed to re-focus on the intent of the blog. At the end of the conversation, I thanked him the sound advice and told him that I loved him. My blog buddy is my younger brother, Israel.

Issachar and Israel

I would describe Israel as the most confident of all of my siblings and a bit of a know-it-all. But, he is also generous and he likes to share the wisdom he has amassed in all his 25 years of living. He is so generous, in fact, that he once gave dating advice to his boss.

Nevertheless, I am proud of him. Israel earned his Masters in public affairs last year, is working full-time, paid cash for a 2010 Nissan Maxima, and worked his way through college by playing Division I basketball. So, despite not knowing it all...he is pretty smart. And, it was nice to get advice from my younger brother, because as the oldest child I feel like I am always giving advice.

Do you have partner/friend that makes you better? Or a sibling that gives you sage advice? If so, sound off in the comments and I'll write about the person that makes you better. 

Idle Threat

Morris and I saw an inspiring documentary last week, Idle Threat. It explained the threats posed to the environment by running your engine for minutes at a time while your car is in park. The film was shown at a community center in our neighborhood in conjunction with the environmental film festival.

I know what you are thinking, how is that inspiring?

Well, the 60-minute film is centered on George Pakenham's one-man fight against idling in New York City. George fights idling by knocking on the car windows of unsuspecting idlers, explains the hazards to the environment, the associated fines for idling in New York City, and asks them to turn their engine off.

 Based on his reports, 80 percent of offenders turn off their engines. However, it is the responses of the other 20 percent that make for a funny and entertaining movie.

Mr. Pakenham has documented more than 2000 interactions with idling offenders, lobbied the New York City Council to enforce the current idling laws, and won by having parking enforcement officers assigned to write tickets to idlers.

I found this movie inspiring, because Mr. Pakenham is making a difference in the world...something I want to do too. So, it got me to thinking.

Am I passionate about anything? Is there anything I am willing to talk about  everyday to complete strangers? As a christian, I know what the answer should be...but I feel like I am really falling short by comparison to Mr. Pakenham.

2013 Goals

I like to begin the year by setting new goals. I set my goals based on the person I hope to become. For example, I hope to be a good wife and one of my goals is to play a sport with Phillip. I also want to win a Pulitzer Prize and two of my goals involve writing. I like to think of each year as a step toward living an extraordinary life.

2013 Goals

1. Complete One Bible Study with Phillip

2. Post 52 Blog Entries this Year

3. Lose 4 Pounds

4. Play a Sport with Phillip

5. Write 2 Letters per Week

6. Publish a Paid Article

7. Write 50,000 words

However, there seems to be a trend that is down on goal setting/new year's resolutions. After talking with a few friends, the sentiment seems to be that setting goals is setting yourself up for disappointment. 

But, I disagree. A goal missed, is better than a goal never set. There are lessons to be learned in goal setting. I set a goal to have two hundred blog followers last year. I failed. This year, my goal is to post 52 blog entries.  I learned that I have to set goals based on my input, not an expected output. 

So, if you are reading this blog perhaps we can help each other. If you are anti-new year's resolutions, perhaps you can help me see the folly in my logic. If you are pro-new year's resolutions, perhaps we can help keep each other on task. 

What'd ya say?

The Pursuit of Excellence

I have read The Pursuit of Excellence two or three times now, and every time I read it I learn something new. The book discusses goal setting, the importance of mistakes, the perils of the status quo, and being creative.

I have been setting goals consistently for five years. I set my goals in January, in June and July I evaluate my progress and/or adjust my goals. November and December are generally crunch time. And, crunch time is where I am now. My 2012 goals are:

1. Eliminate Debt                                                                                                                                             At one point, I paid $360 per month in interest to Sallie Mae. Sallie Mae and I are not friends. Morris and I paid off $28,000 of debt this year, and we will make my final student loan payment this month.

2. Finish Rosetta Stone Spanish                                                                                                              This goal changed to Finish Thank You Notes for Wedding Gifts and Get a New Job. Our friends are incredibly generous and kind. I know that etiquette says your have a year following your wedding to send Thank You Notes. However, I want thank folks as soon as possible. I have 28 more Thank You Notes left. I do not have a new job, yet.

3. 200 Blog Followers                                                                                                                               I did not meet this goal. However, I would like to thank Adrian, Angel, Byron, Diann, Jordan, Heather, Monica, Michaela, Nan, Quinn, and Rachel for following this blog. I am grateful for your support.

4. Get Married to the Man of my Dreams                                                                                     Done. (Btw, I set this goal after we got engaged last year)

5. Make Jesus Famous                                                                                                                        This is a hard goal to quantify. But, I try to accomplish it by living a life that will be pleasing to Jesus. This year I visited someone in the hospital that I didn't know. I wrote letters to friends and family members when they were hurting or to simply tell them that I loved them. I gave money away. I texted and called people just to tell them I was thinking of them. I watered my neighbor's garden, although I've never met him personally. Six of our friends joined our church this year.

6. See Japan   Done.

* I lost 4 pounds of the 8 pounds that I planned to lose before Thanksgiving.*                                                                                                                

Why is Work So Boring?

I have asked myself this question over and over again for the past year. And, the past few months  have been especially challenging. Almost every day is a battle to get up, be there, and be cheerful. Almost every conversation with a friend, family member, or Phillip ends in me disparaging my work. ( Forgive me for that...I am going stop it.) And, at least once a week I end up crying in my office with a sinking feeling that I am trapped and will never get out of this crummy job.

In all fairness, my job is not all that crummy. I have a wonderful boss and I love most of the folks that I work with on a daily basis. I make more money than I ever thought possible at this age. I am off every other Friday, and I have a beautiful walk to work. So, why am I bored and miserable?

The past year has lead me to one answer. My job is not a good fit for me. I love people. I love talking to people, learning about people, and helping people. And, I need a job that allows me to do that. So, I began the quest for my dream job in June.

My dream job has not materialized. But, I have met some great people in the process and my friends and family have been both patient and supportive. I made the decision today that I am going to be grateful for that. The new job will come when the time is right. Just like everything else.

*I gained back the two pounds that I lost last week. Booooo me.*

Why Japan?

Morris and I were often asked this question before, during, and after our honeymoon to Japan. There are two reasons. First, Morris' sister used to send him Japanese baseball cards when he was in middle school, and he always hoped to see the country. Second, my sisters and I spent one Christmas holiday watching the entire Karate Kid trilogy, and I thought "it sure would be nice to see the land of Mr. Miyagi." Below are five of my favorite photos from Japan and the video that Morris made of our trip. Enjoy!

Us at the Edo-Tokyo Museum

Tsuiki Fish Market Safety Briefing

Tsuiki Fish Market...Can you believe that is a Tuna?

Kinkaku-ji (The Temple of the (solid) Gold Pavilion)

The Bamboo Forest

*I lost two pounds this week. Woot! Woot!*

Fly

Morris and I went to see Fly  this week at the Ford Theatre in Washington, D.C. Fly is based on the experience of four Tuskegee Airman flying in World War II, and it was nothing short of brilliant. It incorporated  live action, actual video footage from the war, and tap dancing that expressed the range of emotions the pilots faced.

It had sad parts and it had funny parts. But, the dedication of the Airman to seeing each other succeed was the key to their success. Despite all the hardships face, they won.

Bears On Top

Question: How do two people live in a 400 square foot studio apartment?

Answer: Bears on top.

You see, Morris and I live in the aforementioned small space. Thankfully, we have nine foot ceilings so we have utilized our wall space to the upmost. We also use every nook and crevice to store and hide things. For example, the two-inch space between the refrigerator and the kitchen cabinet becomes a home for our folding chairs and broom. The space underneath my writing desk stores our files, speakers, printer and a box of miscellaneous papers. And all of our bears are placed on the top shelves of our wall-mounted bookcases.

My handsome husband, Morris, graduated from Baylor University. The mascot for Baylor is a bear. While Morris did part with many items to make space for me in his apartment, he did not part with the bears and rightly so because I like that he is sentimental for simple things.

We hope to enjoy/endure this small space until we kill all of $51,236 dollars of our student loan debt.

Boy Marries Girl

Phillip made this video with our wedding photos. We hope you enjoy it! You can view all 445 of our wedding photos here.